Going to crash soon.

San Francisco, CA // Summer of 2010

This summer has been hectic with starting a new job and redecorating my new bedroom.  There's a sense of loneliness and isolation at a hospital during the night shift.  Unless you're in the ER.  The patients that I've met are interesting.  One patient in particular told me that I would have ten beautiful children and they will be vessels of God.  Which reminds me, I want to get my tarot cards read soon.  I don't completely believe in them, but sometimes I like to tailor my life according to the reading.  A testament to how indecisive I am with life plans.

I'm going to start using livejournal again. Hopefully this will keep me sane during nursing school.  

(no subject)

I can't believe my last post was a year ago. I resolved to make 2009 full of adventures, and I did. My mission was accomplished, and I wonder if I'm better off than I was last year.

End of an era

I resolve to make 2009 full of adventures.

Job #3

This is where I work.

(no subject)
I write lists of what to accomplish, what routes to take. My brain is wired in a never-ending circuit of charts and graphs, of indecision and regrets. I close my eyes, fast forward time and I see scenes from prospective futures flickering as quickly as my heart beats. Sometimes I see myself in a dead end job, sometimes I'm dead, but most of the time I see myself mulling over whether I should change careers, move away, or break someone’s heart. Hesitancy is endemic to my core, contaminating my veins and arteries with ambivalence. The cure is passion, sure, but I’ve fallen in love with hypothetical scenarios, leaving me to face the reality that I will never be what I want to be. Out of the numerous hypotheses proposed, the dead end job scenario is the most conclusive.

I’ll be 21 in a few days. But I won’t be anything.

I want to laze around. For once. I want to not think about anything. I’m in summer school all day everyday and when this is over, I’ll go back to my 3 jobs and when that is over, a 22 credit semester will be waiting for me. I haven’t had a summer off in the past 5 years.

I am so burned out.

And I’ve come to the conclusion that college has deteriorated my brain. I may be more book smart, but I’m lacking in creativity and critical thinking.

What am I going to do with 4 bachelor degrees? Nothing.

A Mother's Sonnet
I’ve navigated through constellations,
and swum past the deepest strata.
I’ve lived through centuries of devastation,
but I will shape your existence into a mantra.

I’ll write you a minuet in a never-ending trill,
but I can pluck your nerves like I’m playing pizzicato.
I’ll stop earth from spinning and make time stand still,
and prevent your future from faltering like staccato.

For you, I would stave off the apocalypse,
shield you from the tempest with my armor.
Or we could leave nothing behind, but a legend, a myth
and restart time to craft humanity with ardor.

If time dissolved into particles and life made sense
It’s because of you, the root of my existence.

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title or description

I'm so stressed out with school, my two jobs, and my non-existent social life.


I found my secret in this book. I couldn't stop smiling, then I almost started crying.

Penny for your thoughts.


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